*Went to give the homeless man some change in your wallet, and afterwards he looks at you like your crazy because you just handed him a Chuck E. Cheese token?
*Watched I-Carly and SpongeBob, on PURPOSE?
*Been searching for a free outlet anywhere in the house to plug in the vacuum but they are all occupied with rechargable batteries going at all times of the day and night?
*Taken an hour to get ready to leave the house for a 5 minute errand?
*Kissed the mailman when you just SCORED a HUGE Huggies diaper coupon in the mail?
*Singing that song repeatedly in your head, then you finally realize it comes from Dora The Explorer and your singing along with the map? WAIT, a map can sing?
*Changed the code word for "wanna fool around" to now, "wanna lay the baby down in her bed?"
*Taken your first pee break in 8 hours, only to hear an almighty "crash" from the living room just as your pants hit your ankles?
*Slaved over a hot stove and then had your cooking "snubnosed" and left on the plate to rot? Even though you made the same thing 2 weeks ago and the plate was half empty before you could say "SLOW DOWN?"
*Escorted a screaming naked child and 15 tub toys from the bathtub, because God forbid they may never see that toy again? Hence, the word "TUBTOYS."
*Realized that you can talk on the phone, type, chop veggies, pump gas, and blow dry your hair all with one arm (sometimes all at the same time) while balancing a sleeping child in the other arm?
*Looked in the mirror and gasped in horror at the disheveled, crazy-eyed stranger looking back at you?
*Asked "Good Lord, WHAT is that smell???"
If you answered YES to these questions, YOU ARE OFFICIALLY A PARENT!!